How To Come Together in a Meaningful Way | Priya Parker | TED

The Importance of Gathering Design

• People often make the mistake of assuming that simply bringing people together in a space, whether physical or virtual, will automatically lead to meaningful connections and engagement. (3m10s)
• Gatherings can often lead to feelings of loneliness and disconnection if there is a lack of intentional design and thought put into how people will interact and connect with each other. (4m31s)

Priya Parker's Work on Gathering

• Priya Parker's work has shifted to focus on helping people understand that gatherings shape our lives and that gathering is a learnable skill. (1m51s)
• Priya Parker believes that introverts make good gathering creators because they create the gatherings they wish existed. (33m56s)

Examples of Gathering Design

• Amanda called her mother to ask what she would like to experience at their family gathering following the death of Amanda's grandmother. (6m14s)
• Amanda asked her family to send her songs that bring them comfort and happiness, then played the songs as a Spotify playlist during the family gathering. (6m54s)
• Adam, whose grandmother had also recently passed away, hosted a Zoom gathering for his family to share stories about her. (8m42s)

The New York Times "Page One Meeting"

• Dean Baquet, an editor at the New York Times, changed a long-standing meeting called the "page one meeting" because it no longer served its original purpose. (12m30s)
• The meeting had been taking place for 70 years and originally decided which seven articles would be featured on the front page of the newspaper. (12m39s)
• Due to the rise of the internet and digital news sources, the meeting was restructured to include a broader range of staff and occur earlier in the day. (13m34s)

Gathering Design in the Workplace

• Some organizations are using breakout rooms to synthetically create opportunities for connection that used to happen more naturally in the workplace. (17m22s)

The Importance of the First 5% of a Gathering

• The first 5% of a gathering is the most important for creating a sense of belonging. (21m16s)
• Using the chat box in online gatherings can help create psychological togetherness. (21m38s)

The Importance of Purpose in Gatherings

• Gatherings that have a specific purpose allow attendees to feel useful and like they are part of something. (24m51s)
• The purpose of a gathering should be determined even if it seems obvious, like with a staff meeting or a company anniversary. (27m13s)
• The purpose of a gathering should be determined to avoid future conflicts, such as disagreements about the guest list. (26m47s)

Choosing to Attend Gatherings

• People should be intentional about how often they attend gatherings and what they choose to attend. (28m43s)
• People should practice saying either a "chosen/decisive yes" or a "connected no" when responding to invitations. (29m38s)
• People should observe what is happening around them at gatherings and consider how they can elevate the experience for themselves and others. (30m43s)

Common Gathering Mistakes

• The biggest mistake people make when gathering is assuming everyone has the same purpose; people should ask about the purpose of a gathering. (33m23s)
• Openings and closings are important to gatherings. (33m28s) (33m34s)