Defining Intimacy
- Intimacy is defined as the ability to feel into another person, receive or be received by another, and feel safe enough to be vulnerable in their presence, as experienced through a personal memory of sleeping next to a loved one 25s.
- To access this definition, one is invited to remember a person they love to sleep next to, such as a grandparent, pet, parent, sibling, life partner, or friend, and relive the feelings and sensations associated with that experience 42s.
- The sensations and feelings experienced in this memory are the definition of intimacy, which includes the warmth of another person's body, their smell, and the awkward moments that come with physical closeness 1m11s.
- The definition of intimacy is also reflected in the images from the work "Rosak Touch," an intimate immersive movement theater piece created with performers whose bodies have been longtime collaborators in the research 2m0s.
The Nature of Intimacy
- Intimacy is a physiological need, a tool for joyful and healthy living, and a social superpower, but it can also be a tool for resistance 4m34s.
- The research on intimacy is artistic and embodied, coming through the body and archived in the body, and is collective, anecdotal, and subjective, offering an invitation rather than a declaration of fact 3m34s.
- The researcher, Diya Naidu, is a choreographer and dancer who has been researching intimacy in the context of touch since 2014 3m11s.
- Intimacy involves an inner movement that requires going inward before pushing outward, and this inner movement is a prerequisite for intimacy 5m19s.
Embodiment vs. Disembodiment
- Embodiment is the state of being fully present and aware in one's body, and it is essential for intimacy, as it allows individuals to live through their bodies and be aware of their sensations, feelings, and decisions 6m12s.
- Disembodiment, on the other hand, benefits capitalism and consumerism, as it leads to a disconnection from one's body and the natural world 6m2s.
- When individuals are disembodied, they are more likely to engage in unhealthy behaviors such as stress eating, fast fashion retail obsession, and other forms of consumerism 5m53s.
- Being embodied allows individuals to make choices that safeguard not just their own health but also the health of the planet, such as choosing to do yoga, cook a meal, or take a walk in the park instead of engaging in consumerist behaviors 7m49s.
- Embodiment and intimacy with nature can help individuals develop a sense of connection with the natural world and recognize that bodies need other bodies, making it harder to engage in behaviors that harm the environment 8m29s.
- This intimacy with nature can also help destabilize the learned separation from nature that commodification thrives on, and it can be an invitation to say no to ruthless buying and consumerism 9m19s.
- Ultimately, intimacy and embodiment can lead to a deeper sense of connection with the planet and other species, and it can be a powerful tool for creating positive change in the world 9m32s.
The Skin and Integration
- In a time of increasing separations and discriminations, the body becomes an important tool for nonseparation and integration of opposing ideas 9m55s.
- The skin is a site for the integration of worlds of opposing ideas, as it can comfortably have multiple experiences 10m11s.
- The skin is the first sense organ to develop in the womb and is the interface where a baby first encounters the distinction between self and other 10m32s.
- The skin serves as a boundary between the self and the world, but also as a connector, allowing individuals to be in the world and experience its sensations 11m12s.
- The body is able to hold multiple realities without conflict, making embodied practice, particularly intimacy, a tool for resistance 11m53s.
- In a moment where individuals are compelled to declare their stance on various issues, the body speaks the language of "and," allowing for multiple emotions and experiences to coexist 12m12s.
- The skin is like an archive or encyclopedia of the life lived, with every mark, scar, and bruise having a story behind it 12m34s.
- Reflecting on a mark on one's skin can bring a sense of presence and connection to the past, highlighting the skin's ability to be both past and present 13m16s.
Beyond Touch and Romance
- Intimacy is not just about touch, and touch is not just about romance, despite common media portrayals 13m33s.
- The media often hijacks intimacy, portraying touch as either violent or aggressive, and neglecting other forms of touch and intimacy 13m47s.
- Intimacy is a nuanced and complex experience that cannot be replicated by the "boom boom zoom zoom" portrayals often seen on screen, and it requires a deep connection with one's own body and sensations 14m26s.
Disembodiment and Reconnecting
- In today's world, people are often disembodied due to their reliance on gadgets and technology, making it difficult for them to feel their own heartbeat, skin sensations, and boundaries 14m35s.
- To truly feel into another person's thoughts, sensations, and pleasure, one must first be able to feel into their own body, which is why prioritizing sensitivity and being an ally is crucial, especially in times of violence against women and queer people 15m5s.
Forms of Intimacy and Memory
- Intimacy is not just about physical touch, but also about shared experiences, such as a high five, shared coffee, or solidarity, and the body remembers these moments of intimacy as well as the lack of touch and feelings of danger and unsafety 15m38s.
- The body also remembers instructions and warnings given to it, such as "don't talk to strangers" and "be careful," which can create a sense of fear and ninja mode, and this fear is often used by leaders and dictators to divide and rule people 15m59s.
- Every act of separation in human communities, whether it's minority hating, gentrification, or genocide, has fear-mongering at its root, and creating a performance or workshop that allows people to feel their own body and sensations can be a political act of resistance 16m44s.
- The goal of creating such a performance or workshop is to allow people to be vulnerable in each other's presence, acknowledge their shared fragility, and recognize that they are not out to get each other, which can be a powerful act of resistance and intimacy 17m10s.
- Intimacy can be a tool of resistance, and it can be used to create a sense of safety and connection with strangers, which can be a powerful antidote to the fear and ninja mode that is often present in the world 17m22s.
Strange Intimacies Performance
- The performance "Strange Intimacies" is a 2.5-hour solo event that aims to create a safe and non-judgmental space for strangers to connect and experience intimacy, and it begins with the participant receiving a personal letter from the performer 18m17s.
- A performer shares an anecdote about a young man who signed up for an intimacy session in 2020, where they had a special and safe experience together, which the young man later described as cathartic in an email 18m55s.
- The performer received a second email from the young man, which they didn't notice initially due to being busy with the pandemic, where he talked about connecting with trees during the lockdowns and sent a photograph of his favorite tree 20m13s.
- The performer later found out that the young man had been killed in a tragic accident and felt grief and guilt, but realized that the second email was a gift from the young man to his sister through the performer 20m37s.
- The performer hopes to take the young man's sister to his favorite tree, where they can come together in his honor and touch him again, even if only for a brief moment 21m11s.
- The performer believes that strange intimacies can bring personal quantum moments that couldn't have been imagined, and wishes the audience the deepest and strangest of intimacies and embodiment 21m48s.
