4.2M Q&A - Settling Down, Being A Feminist & Sleeping With An Ex

Evolution of the Show Format

• The host is having a lot of fun with the new group episodes in the studio, which is a departure from the traditional serious and meaningful conversations that have been a part of the show for a long time, with over 1,100 episodes 10s.
• The host enjoys the hang-style episodes, such as the one with Huberman, McCusker, and Sigura, and the debate-style episodes with George and Shawn, because they allow for more relaxed and fun conversations 2m6s.
• The goal of these new episodes is not to have a verbal blood sport, but to have people with slightly differing perspectives on the same topic come together and develop each other's worldviews, rather than just trying to win an argument 4m30s.
• The host is feeling a bit of fatigue with the grind and self-improvement era, and wants to offer a more balanced approach, with a mix of serious conversations and more lighthearted episodes, which are like a treat or a dessert 6m20s.

Adapting to the Information Age and Audience Expectations

• The host believes that in the era of AI, people are already drowning in information, and that the show can provide a safe space for people to relax and have a good time, even if they don't learn something new from every episode 8m40s.
• The host is experimenting with new formats and appreciates the audience's patience, acknowledging that some people may not like the new direction and may choose to leave, but is following their instincts with the show 10m50s.
• The master plan is to have fun and try to do stuff that's different, creating content that resonates with the audience, and this approach is considered unique and potentially not available elsewhere 10s.

New Guests and Studio Plans

• There are plans to put together round table discussions with various guests, including Neil deGrasse Tyson, Mark Norand, Eric Weinstein, Rick Glassman, Bert Chryser, and Brian Johnson, to create interesting and dynamic conversations 2m6s.
• The new studio launch was unceremonious, and a video explaining the vision in full will be created to provide more context and information about the plans and goals 4m42s.
• The debate format is intended to be a productive way to have discussions, where people can build on each other's arguments rather than just tearing them down, and this approach is considered more suitable for the nervous system and for having meaningful conversations 6m15s.

Personal Relationships and Dating Advice

• Regarding the question about sleeping with an ex, it's suggested that if both parties are consenting adults, there's no obligation not to do it, but it's also important to consider the potential emotional impact on the other person and to treat them with respect and care, following a golden rule of dating 10m30s.
• The recent tour in Australia, New Zealand, and Bali was awesome, and appreciation is expressed to everyone who attended 14m50s.
• Recent travels included visiting Adelaide and Perth for the first time, with Perth being a particularly enjoyable destination, despite the challenging travel routing, which involved flying 5 hours to the other side of Australia and performing shows every day for 48 hours 10s.
• Brisbane is considered one of the coolest cities, with a high percentage of fit and attractive people, a great gym called Total Fusion Platinum, and impressive architecture, including hanging gardens and a waterfront 1m30s.
• A sold-out show was performed at the Darling Harbor Theater in Sydney, which was a significant and exciting experience, and there are upcoming shows in the UK and Ireland, with tickets available at chriswillson.live, except for Dublin, which is already sold out 2m6s.
• The decision to settle down should be based on personal feelings, rather than trying to force it, as this can lead to resentment, and it's essential to consider individual desires and needs, rather than trying to negotiate or convince oneself to feel a certain way 4m20s.
• Being single can be enjoyable, and there's no need to rush into settling down, but self-reflection and journaling can help identify underlying concerns or fears that may be influencing one's decisions, such as a fear of intimacy or feelings of constraint 6m40s.

Genetics and Personal Traits

• The concept of being a "comi met" is discussed, referring to a genetic polymorphism, and it's revealed that some individuals, including the respondent, have this variant, which affects the clearance of catecholamines and adrenaline, and has a higher dopamine baseline 9m30s.
• The individual believes they would be a poor fit for a high-stress role like a Navy Seal, but could excel in a more creative field like art, as they thrive in predictable and peaceful environments where they can focus on details, 10s.
• Hypersuccessful people often have the ability to pay close attention to details, and having a certain genetic variant, such as the COMT variant, can be associated with this trait, but it is not necessarily beneficial and requires adapting one's lifestyle, 10s.
• The COMT variant is not the only factor that determines a person's ability to be thoughtful and pay attention to details, and many people without this variant can still possess these qualities, 42s.

Personal Beliefs and Public Backlash

• The individual prefers to avoid conflict and aggressive debates, instead opting for a more collaborative and friendly approach, which is in line with their disposition and predisposition, 2m6s.
• Two strongly held beliefs, or "hills to die on," are that hold luggage is unnecessary and that the most important part of a bed is the pillow, 2m6s.
• The individual faced backlash for their conversation with Louis Theroux about his manosphere documentary, with both feminists and the manosphere community criticizing their involvement, 2m6s.
• The individual has been labeled with various terms such as "bluepilled," "feminist," "misogynist," "manosphere," and "red pill" by different people, and they find it interesting to see how their opinions are perceived by others 10s.
• They have had conversations with people from different backgrounds and ideologies, including Tucker Carlson, Bartlett, Louis, and Bernie Sanders, and they enjoy having discussions with people who act in good faith, even if they don't agree with everything that is said 1m30s.
• The individual is trying to have balanced conversations and is not afraid to disagree with their guests or be labeled as being part of a particular group, and they believe that their audience understands what they are trying to do 4m20s.
• They appreciate their audience and believe that the show is for people who are willing to listen and understand their perspective, and they are not concerned about being misinterpreted by people who don't care to understand their position 6m40s.

Collaborations and Guest Appearances

• The individual has been friends with Alex O'Connor for seven years and thinks he is a great guy who has worked hard to become a wonderful voice in the conversation about theology, religion, and belief 10m30s.
• Alex O'Connor's ability to understand and respect theology, religion, and scripture, as well as his pivot from atheism to agnosticism, is seen as a positive aspect of his conversations and makes him a great voice in the center of the conversation around religion 12m50s.

Audience Feedback and Engagement

• The current state of conversations and discussions is frustrating and fatiguing, with a desire for more cordial and respectful interactions where people can learn from each other's perspectives and find common ground 10s.
• A comment from Kayla Ironside is addressed, who has been a subscriber since the channel had 100 followers and feels that the content has dropped off, with too many self-help gurus as guests, and that the host has let fame get to their head 2m6s.
• The host responds to Kayla's comment, apologizing for not responding to comments as much as they used to, but explaining that with 4.2 million subscribers, it's challenging to respond to everyone, and they are still making an effort to engage with their audience 2m6s.
• The host also invites Kayla and other listeners to suggest potential guests for the show, as they are always open to new ideas and have brought on guests based on listener suggestions in the past 4m30s.

Sponsorships and Product Promotions

• The episode is sponsored by Whoop, a wearable device that tracks various aspects of health, including sleep, workouts, and recovery, and the host is a fan of the product, having used it to track nearly 2,000 days of their life 6m40s.
• The host discusses the benefits of using Whoop, including being able to predict bad days and track the effectiveness of daily habits, and invites listeners to try the device for free with a 30-day money-back guarantee 6m40s.

Golden Retrievers and Pet Plans

• The conversation shifts to a lighthearted topic, with the host talking about golden retrievers and how they seem to be ubiquitous in Austin, Texas, where they live 10m10s.
• The topic of golden retrievers is discussed, with a particular fondness for the Instagram account Wally Meets World, which features an overly emotional golden retriever, and there is a desire to have one as a pet, but only when the time is right to provide the proper care and attention 10s.
• The standard of care for dogs is considered important, based on the experience of having dogs in the family while growing up, where they were well looked after, and the goal is to provide the same level of care for a future pet 1m30s.
• A golden retriever breeder is sought, with a preference for a show golden rather than a working golden, and the desire is for a big, fluffy, and friendly dog 2m40s.

Naming Challenges for New Podcast Series

• There is a struggle to find a name for a series of group podcast episodes, with various suggestions such as "human mccusa sagura", "uncommon conversations", "smoke break", "hot mic", "good vibes", "good dudes", "rabbit hole", "open tabs", and "Blunt Rotation", but none have been finalized due to concerns about trademark law and the need to check with an IP lawyer 4m10s.
• The naming process is causing some anxiety, and there is a consideration to conduct a poll to determine the most popular name, but the concern is that the chosen name may not be the most effective or accurate representation of the content 6m20s.
• Despite the naming challenges, it is confirmed that more group podcast episodes will be released, and they are expected to be enjoyable and fun, with the naming issue being a secondary concern 8m0s.

Elon Musk and the Tall Girl Problem

• Elon Musk was invited to be a guest on the podcast, and he expressed interest in appearing after the SpaceX IPO, with plans to make the conversation a special and memorable one 10s.
• The concept of the "tall girl problem" is discussed, which refers to the challenge women face in finding a partner who is as socioeconomically successful as they are, with the added element of emotional development and intelligence being a potential factor in this issue 2m6s.
• The idea is proposed that women who have done significant self-work and have high emotional intelligence may experience a "delta" or distance from their partners, potentially creating friction and feelings of loneliness in the relationship, especially in the long term 4m30s.
• It is suggested that this emotional intelligence gap may be a more significant contributor to relationship problems than differences in education or financial success, and that women may be more emotionally in tune and developed than men, although this is not definitively stated 6m20s.

Socioeconomic and Gender Dynamics in Relationships

• The statistic is mentioned that women out earn men up to the age of 32, highlighting the shifting dynamics of socioeconomic success between men and women 8m30s.
• The ideal age range for women to date is considered to be between 29 and 32 or 33 years old, which is a big window for them to try and date, and this age range may be affected by asymmetric growth, where women may be developing faster than men in terms of emotional maturity and personal growth 10s.
• Asymmetric growth can be a problem because men may not be incentivized to work on their internal development, and there is a lack of therapy and growth models specifically tailored to men, which can make it difficult for them to see the benefits of personal growth and development 42s.
• To address asymmetric growth, it's suggested that therapy and growth models should be made more attractive and beneficial to men, by aligning incentives and providing a clear plan for progress and development, rather than trying to guilt or shame them into doing it 2m6s.

Personal Growth and Community Building

• A potential solution to get more men into therapy is to bring in tools from coaching and men's work, and to provide a more linear and upward trajectory for personal growth, which can help men feel like they are making progress and achieving their goals 4m30s.
• The idea of starting a dating organization for Modern Wisdom listeners is proposed, as it could pre-select for people who are interested in personal growth and development, and provide a community for like-minded individuals to connect and deepen their relationships 6m40s.
• The live shows have already shown that the content of Modern Wisdom is resonating with people, and is helping them to understand themselves and their relationships better, which could be a starting point for creating a community or dating organization 8m10s.

Challenges in Hosting Large Events

• The idea of hosting a mixer after a live event is being considered, but it's challenging to find a suitable venue that can accommodate a large number of people, with the London Apollo show having a capacity of 3,500 and selling out last time, leaving the question of where to put 20% of the attendees, which is around 700 people 10s.
• Emotionally developed individuals may find it hard to resonate with others, and as they become more refined, they may feel alone and struggle to find people who share their level of emotional development, much like a foodie with a refined palate may find it difficult to enjoy certain types of food 2m6s.
• The more developed a person becomes, the harder it may be to find someone who shares their level of emotional development, but it's worth the effort, and help is being offered to those who are struggling to find their person 4m6s.

Business and Branding Strategies

• Shopify is being promoted as a platform that can help businesses convert browsers into buyers, with a 36% better checkout on average compared to other leading commerce platforms, and a 50% boost in conversions with Shop Pay, allowing business owners to focus on creating and promoting their products 6m6s.
• There is a criticism being addressed about pandering to feminist ideologies and being part of the problems discussed on the show, with a response that the goal is to help people, not to cater to a specific ideology, and that being "ideologically spit roasted" by both sides of the internet is a challenging position to be in 8m6s.
• The individual is criticized by both the manosphere and feminists, but believes most people understand the importance of these conversations and are not swayed by internet rage bait 10s.

Product Development and Launches

• New flavors are being developed for the Newtonic focus pouches, including coffee, citrus, spearmint, peppermint, and a mixed fruit flavor, with the goal of creating a variety pack 2m6s.
• The Newtonic focus pouches were a long time in development, taking nearly 18 months to get right, and have been well-received, selling out in 40 hours in the UK and soon to be stocked in health stores like GNC and Vitamin Shop 2m6s.

Earning Respect in Professional Settings

• To gain respect as a young person, it may be necessary to wait, but one strategy is to find a way to demonstrate competence and value, such as by leading pitches and having a partner handle the behind-the-scenes work, as was done with business partner Darren 6m42s.
• The individual recalls feeling patronized in meetings with older, more experienced business owners when they were starting out, but found ways to work around this and prove their worth 6m42s.
• To establish respect in a professional setting, especially when being young, it's essential to be confident, competent, and address potential biases directly, as seen in the approach of saying "hey guys, look, before we get started, I just wanted to say I know that we're a young company, but I think that our results speak for themselves" to call out the elephant in the room and set expectations for mutual respect 10s.
• Being really competent and good at what you do can also help earn respect, as suggested by the book "So Good They Can't Ignore You" by Cal Newport, which implies that being exceptionally skilled can make it difficult for others to disregard or disrespect you 42s.
• Aging can bring more respect, with significant changes occurring around the ages of 24, 25, and 30 for guys, after which the respect gained tends to level out, and before these ages, one may face more challenges in earning respect due to their youth 2m6s.

Monetization and Advertisements

• Addressing potential tension or bias directly by calling it out and asserting one's capabilities and expectations for respect can be an effective strategy, as it helps to establish a professional and respectful dynamic 4m30s.
• The inclusion of ad reads in episodes is necessary to support the production and provision of free content, with the argument being that a small amount of ads, such as four minutes out of 180, is a reasonable price to pay for the value received 6m10s.
• The criticism of ad reads is acknowledged, but it's also pointed out that the production of high-quality content, such as episode 1000, which involved significant investments of time, money, and effort, requires financial support, and ad reads help to offset these costs 8m40s.
• The sense of entitlement expressed by some individuals regarding ad reads is noted, with the observation that parasocial relationships on the internet can sometimes feel more entitled than real-life social relationships, and an effort is made to make ad reads interesting and engaging 11m20s.

Studio Production and Costs

• The studio where the content is being created is expensive, and the goal is to add value and try different things, not just do the minimum, with a focus on making comedy bits engaging, and this effort is being made despite the high cost of the studio 10s.

Product Promotions and Reviews

• The Eight Sleep Pod 5 is being promoted, which comes with a smart cover that can cool or heat each side of the bed up to 20°, and also includes a temperature-regulating duvet and pillowcase for 360° coverage, allowing for deep, uninterrupted rest, and it has an autopilot feature that learns sleep patterns and makes adjustments in real-time 2m6s.

Fiction and Book Discussions

• The discussion turns to the Red Rising series by Pierce Brown, specifically the final book, Red God, and how Pierce is known for killing off favorite characters without warning or apology, making it difficult for him to conclude the series without disappointing fans 4m42s.
• A call with Pierce Brown earlier in the year revealed that he is having an existential crisis about killing off characters, as it is permanent and cannot be undone, and this is a challenge for fiction writers who have to bring a story to a satisfying conclusion 6m15s.
• The prediction is made that the most brutally unromantic way to end the Red Rising series would be for the main character, Darrow, to win but lose his wife again, which would be a high-risk but potentially legendary way to conclude the story, with the guess being that Mustang will be the character to die 8m30s.
• The conversation also touches on the challenges faced by fiction writers, such as Patrick Rothfuss, who has been working on the third book in the Kingkiller Chronicle series for over a decade, and the pressure to deliver a satisfying conclusion to a story 10m50s.

Harambe and Bioengineering

• The topic of Harambe, a gorilla that was killed in a zoo, is briefly mentioned, with the joking suggestion that the geopolitical climate would be different if Harambe were still alive 12m20s.
• The idea of bringing back extinct animals through bioengineering and genetics is discussed, with the suggestion that Harambe, a gorilla, should be the first animal to be brought back, as he is seen as a hero and a potential ambassador to the UN, 10s.

Hair Care and Studio Updates

• The topic of hair care is addressed, with the discussion of buzz cut numbers, specifically a "2 and 2 and a half" cut, which requires regular maintenance every 2-3 weeks to keep it looking neat, 2m6s.
• There is a mention of a new studio, with a custom-designed tree from Singapore, and plans for an in-depth tour of the studio once it is perfected, with the addition of more light tubes and other features, 4m42s.

Self-Help and Productivity

• The self-help space is touched upon, with the question of whether there is a risk of drifting into "productive procrastination" by searching for hidden insights that may not exist, and the idea that sometimes the simplest mantra, "just do the thing," is the most effective, 6m15s.
• The concept of "grind slop exhaustion" on the internet is mentioned, and the reference to previous episodes of the show, including discussions with productivity experts like David Allen, the creator of the Getting Things Done (GTD) process, 8m10s.
• The concept of the Ebing House forgetting curve and space repetition for memory is discussed, with reference to the book "Make It Stick" by Brown, and the use of flashcards as a learning tool 10s.

Content Strategy and Guest Selection

• The importance of making the content engaging and fun, without repeating the same topics or guests, is emphasized, with the goal of finding new and interesting people to feature, such as discussing the life of Julius Caesar 2m6s.
• The idea of productive procrastination is mentioned, where something new is prioritized over drilling the basics, but also acknowledging that revisiting important topics from the past may be necessary, such as having David Allen back on the show 4m30s.
• The need to avoid falling into politics and adversarial content is stressed, and instead focusing on novel and interesting topics that genuinely warrant discussion, while also considering the possibility of redoing basic episodes or recap episodes 6m0s.

Revisiting Topics and Avoiding Burnout

• The conversation touches on the idea that people may need to be reminded of important topics, such as sleep optimization, and that simply knowing about a topic is not enough, implementation is key, with the example of sleep still being an issue despite covering the topic before 8m0s.
• A personal anecdote is shared about considering having Matt Walker back on the show to discuss sleep, and being open to revisiting old topics, while also being conscious of avoiding unnecessary grind and creating a sense of inadequacy 10m0s.
• A humorous exchange occurs between Jared and Chris, where Jared is jokingly accused of having a drinking problem after consuming an entire case of non-alcoholic Athletic Brewing beer 12m0s.

Humor and Personal Anecdotes

• Athletic Brewing Co. is a company that makes non-alcoholic beers, and their products can be found in grocery or liquor stores, or ordered online with a 15% discount using the code "modernwisdom" at checkout 10s.
• A listener asks if bringing back "Carnage" traffic light parties could help solve the declining birth rate, and the response is that it might have a chance, given that other methods like tax breaks for mothers have not been effective 2m6s.
• "Carnage" was a t-shirt bar crawl event where participants wore stickers indicating their relationship status, with green meaning "good to go", orange meaning "thinking about it", and red meaning "taken", and it would require a large number of people to participate to make a significant impact on the birth rate 2m6s.
• The idea of reviving "Carnage" parties is met with skepticism, as the kind of behavior that occurred at these events would likely be canceled quickly in today's social media landscape 4m30s.

Reading Lists and Book Recommendations

• A reading list of 100 books to read before you die, and 100 more books, is available at chriswilx.com/books, with the top 5 books on each list being considered "must-reads" 6m30s.

Alcohol and Sobriety

• The topic of alcohol is discussed, with the speaker sharing their personal experience of going sober for a thousand days and then reintroducing alcohol into their life, acknowledging that while sobriety was beneficial, alcohol can also enhance a night out 8m30s.
• The issue with drinking was feeling obliged to do it, which led to a lack of control over energy levels and negatively impacted progress in other areas, such as diet and training 10s.
• To address this issue, a personal challenge was undertaken, such as doing 500 days without caffeine, to regain control over energy levels and make better choices 42s.
• Drinking can be a part of social celebrations, but it can also limit progress and reset habits, making it difficult to get back on track with training, meditation, and journaling 2m6s.
• The benefits of not drinking are still advocated for, but it's not an absolute stance, and there have been instances of drinking, such as 10-20 times in the past year 4m6s.

Merchandise and Branding

• The discussion of drinking is put aside to address a question about merchandise, which is still in the works, with new designs and high-quality materials being carefully selected to ensure a good representation of the Modern Wisdom brand 6m17s.
• The merchandise designer is compared to the anonymous band Sleep Token, and the importance of getting the merch right is emphasized to maintain a positive relationship with the audience and the brand 8m29s.
• The merchandise is being carefully crafted, with attention to detail, including the type of blanks used, such as Comfort Colors and AS color, to ensure a high-quality product that will not tarnish the brand's reputation 10m41s.

Fan Q&A and Guest Suggestions

• The discussion involves a Q&A session where a fan, Bobzilla 2006, asks about the possibility of doing more episodes related to astronomy and physics, and the host expresses enthusiasm for the idea, mentioning a potential round table with Neil deGrasse Tyson and Mark Normand, and a desire to bring back Professor David Kipping as a guest 10s.
• The host also mentions that they have spoken to Professor David Kipping recently and are open to suggestions for other guests in the field of astronomy and physics, including Eric Weinstein, and invites viewers to provide recommendations in the comments 2m6s.
• Another fan, Kristoff 8188, asks about the possibility of having more frequent Q&A sessions, every 2-3 months, rather than linking them to subscriber milestones, and the host considers this idea, suggesting that it might be easier to do regular Q&A sessions, but also jokes that fans can help make them happen more quickly by getting their friends to subscribe 4m42s.
• The host also talks about their desire to do more solo content, taking advantage of their new studio, and promises to try to make Q&A sessions happen more quickly 6m15s.

Work-Life Balance and Success

• A fan, Payton, asks a question about the balance between focusing on work and achieving success, versus enjoying one's youth and having fun, and the host responds that it depends on the individual's age, suggesting that younger people should have some fun, while older individuals may need to focus more on their goals 8m30s.
• It is suggested that individuals can create their own path and have fun, but a period of intense focus and dedication, referred to as "monk mode," is necessary to achieve success and financial freedom, especially between the mid to late 20s through early 30s 10s.
• Before this period of intense focus, up to the age of 24 or 25, there may not be much divergence between friends in terms of accomplishments, but the difference in the amount of fun had will be noticeable, and it's essential to strike a balance between locking in and giving oneself a break 10s.
• The idea of "semi-pro" versus "pro" is discussed, with the suggestion that there needs to be a period of fully committing to a goal, rather than just partially, in order to capitalize on opportunities and gain momentum, which can be achieved after gaining some experience and respect in one's field 2m6s.

Future Collaborations and Tours

• Plans for upcoming events and collaborations are mentioned, including a tour around the UK and Ireland in October, where guests like Finn and Horatio may be invited to participate, and the possibility of having them on the show again in the future 4m38s.
• The enjoyment of working with Finn and Horatio on their podcast, "Finn Versus History," is expressed, and their unique style and humor are appreciated, with the episode they did together being one of the most played and a lot of fun to record 6m10s.

Future Plans for a Dog and Family Life

• The topic of getting a dog is brought up, with the idea of having a dog as a regular feature on the show, including a raised dog bed behind the host during episodes, and the host expresses their desire to get a dog soon 8m40s.
• The individual is being encouraged to speedrun getting a dog, but they guarantee that once they have the dog, they will not stop talking about it, and people should enjoy the time before that happens 0s.
• The same warning is given for when the individual has kids, stating that they will be discussing child rearing and pediatrics for 2 years, and people should appreciate the present time, referred to as the "before times" or "BD" (before dog) 0s.

Closing Remarks and Gratitude

• The individual expresses gratitude to their supporters, thanking them for their appreciation and announcing that they will be going on tour in the UK and Ireland later in the year, with more information available on Newtonic.com/modernwisdism and chriswillex.com/books 0s.