Chittiyan Narration | Shafaq Lashari | TEDxKinnaird

A Childhood in Lahore

• The speaker describes a routine that occurred in their childhood home, a large house in Fateh Sher Road.
• The routine involved preparing the house for the day, including sweeping the floor, laying out colorful rugs, and placing a white tablecloth on a small table.

The Speaker's Writing Journey

• The speaker's children and other people have encouraged them to write down their thoughts and share them.
• The speaker has been asked to write pieces for various occasions, including weddings and mushairas.
• The speaker's first book, titled "Chittiyan," was published after encouragement from Amjad Islam Amjad.
• The speaker's second book, a collection of short stories, is in progress.
• The speaker began writing with a letter to her daughter, Falak.

The Speaker's Mother and Her Influence

• The speaker discusses their mother and her habit of completing tasks quickly.
• The speaker attributes their own tendency to rush to their mother's influence.
• The speaker mentions that they have inherited many habits from their grandmother, including the practice of serving the staff first.

Memories of Sounds and Music

• The speaker describes a routine in their childhood home where after the family's clothes were washed and hung, the staff would be served a hot meal before the family.
• The speaker then shifts to discussing their childhood memories of listening to the radio, specifically mentioning the songs of Noor Jahan and the radio program "Saloon ka Bina ka Toothpaste."
• The speaker concludes by mentioning that they remember these songs and the routine of lying on a charpoy at night.
• The speaker describes memories of sounds heard in the quiet of their heart.
• The speaker remembers a courtyard within a house with five charpais (beds) laid out.
• The speaker remembers the sound of horse-drawn carriages passing by, starting from a distance and moving closer, passing by the homes of Hama Mai and Rashid, and then continuing past the house of Ramzan Chacha before fading away.
• The speaker also remembers the sound of a radio playing Hindi and foreign music at a tea stall.

The Speaker's Escape Through Music and Literature

• The speaker used music and literature to navigate life.
• The speaker would imagine herself as different characters from films and songs, such as Zeeba, Waheeda Rehman, and Shammi Kapoor, when feeling happy.
• The speaker would imagine herself as Madhubala, Sultana, or Meena Kumari, and cry while singing sad songs when feeling sad.
• The speaker sang many songs and imagined herself in romantic scenarios with a hero.

The Speaker's Identity and Family

• The speaker compares themselves to their grandmother, stating that they are quick to understand things.
• The speaker mentions that even the mirror seems to recognize their resemblance to Mahboob Sultan, a famous figure.
• The speaker identifies themselves as a daughter of Shafaq Lai, a woman from old Lahore.

A Wedding Blessing

• The letter was written on January 15, 2017, at the request of a friend whose daughter was getting married on the same day.
• The letter is addressed to Kinza, who is described as beautiful and sweet.
• The writer's friend, Samina, requested a special message for Kinza's wedding, including a blessing and a performance on the dhol (a traditional drum).
• The writer felt compelled to fulfill the request, despite not knowing if the message would be well-received.

The Essence of a Mother's Love

• The speaker describes the essence of a mother's love, comparing it to the love of Samina's mother and her own mother, Mahboob Sultana.
• The speaker reminisces about her childhood memories, including her mother's bright white face, her father's full smile, and the excitement of her brothers.

Wedding Traditions and Celebrations

• The speaker recalls the anticipation and joy surrounding her wedding, with her mother preparing for the event two months in advance.
• The speaker mentions that she was an only child, and her mother prepared five yellow outfits for her wedding.
• The speaker describes a tradition of wearing beautiful clothing, including a Banarasi dupatta with a Kimkhaab, Japanese flat crepe, and a Dhin crepe.
• The speaker mentions a desire to wear yellow clothing daily, including a yellow paranda and yellow upan.
• The speaker describes a weekly tradition of applying mehndi and hosting a gathering in the home.
• The speaker notes that the gatherings included friends and cousins singing and dancing to the rhythm of a dholk.
• The speaker describes a simple but plentiful spread of food, with a focus on warmth and comfort.
• The speaker mentions the use of a kangri, a traditional heating device, for warmth.
• The speaker describes the gatherings as small, intimate, and home-based.
• The speaker describes a lively atmosphere filled with the sounds of laughter, the jingling of bangles, and the scent of henna.
• The speaker mentions that their mother would always ensure that there were sweets like jalebis and namkeen parathas available for evening tea.
• The speaker also mentions that their mother would order special sugar parathas made with desi ghee from the countryside and store them in a large copper container.
• The speaker notes that the arrival of samosas and namkeen parathas from Regal would signal the start of the evening festivities.
• The speaker describes a warm and welcoming environment where there was always a sense of togetherness and hospitality.

The Speaker's Brothers and Their Role

• The speaker mentions that their four brothers were all young and energetic, with the eldest serving in the army and the other three attending college.
• The speaker describes how their brothers would often try to catch a glimpse of girls from behind doors or engage in playful conversations with them.
• The speaker emphasizes the helpful nature of their brothers during those times.

Memories of a Wedding Celebration

• The speaker reminisces about a time when she and her friends would play games like Ludo and wear henna.
• She remembers the excitement of the men playing music with their drums and the women dancing.
• The speaker describes the shyness of the girls and the interactions with the boys.
• She recalls watching black and white movies in the drawing room and participating in the events.
• The speaker remembers the joy of dressing up in different clothes and the beauty of the henna.
• She describes watching the lights go out in the room at night from behind a latticed door.

The Speaker's Wedding Day

• The speaker describes a situation where she was expected to stay hidden before her wedding procession.
• She was only allowed to briefly appear for the henna ceremony.
• The next day, she had a viva for her Bachelor of Arts in Social Work at Punjab University.
• Despite being dressed in a yellow wedding outfit with henna on her hands, she went to the viva.
• The speaker mentions that the viva took place on December 29, 1972.
• The professor was impressed by her situation and advised her to go home to avoid getting cold and prepare for the wedding.
• The speaker contrasts the situation with modern times, where wedding preparations involve months of planning, including salon appointments and photo shoots.
• The bride's family received guests for the wedding ceremony.
• Nando displayed a variety of jewelry and sent four sets of jewelry inside.
• The bride's sister quickly opened the jewelry boxes and adorned the bride with the jewelry.
• The bride's sister applied eyeliner and lipstick to the bride.
• The bride was ready for the wedding ceremony in 15 minutes.
• The bride's mother prepared a plush red bedspread on a divan in the courtyard.
• The divan was decorated with two red round pillows with silver embroidery and an Iranian carpet.
• There were also some palm trees in pots in the courtyard.

A Wedding Celebration and a Grudge

• The speaker describes a wedding celebration where she was a young girl.
• The celebration took place in a large space with a stage, colorful decorations, and bright lights.
• A photographer, named Jafgar Barlas, took pictures of the guests, but the speaker believes that he did not actually take any pictures of her.
• The speaker expresses her disappointment with Jafgar Barlas for not taking her picture and says that she still holds a grudge against him.

The Speaker's Marriage

• The speaker describes herself as a young girl, walking with her brother, and transitioning from being called Shafaq Lashari to Shafaq Ehsaan.
• The speaker describes her marriage as an arranged one, comparing it to a buffalo that was part of a dowry.
• She was given away in marriage with little time to prepare or even meet her future husband.
• The speaker emphasizes the simplicity of the time, stating that there was no time for elaborate preparations or scrutiny.
• Despite being from a different background, the speaker was welcomed with great enthusiasm in her new home.
• The speaker's marriage was celebrated with a year-long engagement period, during which her mother did not allow anyone to even peek at her future husband.
• The speaker describes her journey into marriage as a journey into the unknown, undertaken with open-heartedness and acceptance.
• The speaker compares her memories of this time to a black and white film that plays in her mind.

The Importance of Connection and Support

• The speaker discusses the importance of creating a welcoming and loving atmosphere in social gatherings.
• The speaker emphasizes that true happiness comes from appreciating the company of loved ones and cherishing the moments spent together.
• The speaker acknowledges that life is full of ups and downs, but having a supportive companion makes it easier to navigate challenges.
• The speaker highlights the importance of holding onto a loved one's hand, both physically and emotionally, during difficult times.
• The speaker suggests that the presence of a loved one can make even the most challenging situations feel manageable.
• The speaker describes a feeling of anticipation and excitement when waiting for someone, with a racing heartbeat upon hearing their voice.
• The speaker believes that this feeling signifies reaching a destination and a shared connection.
• The speaker shares a personal experience of unwavering desire and anticipation, which ultimately led to a successful outcome.
• The speaker expresses hope that the listener will also achieve their goals and wishes them happiness and a fulfilling life.

The Speaker's College Experiences

• The speaker mentions having written about their college experiences and expresses a desire to share those stories in the future.
• The speaker concludes by offering a blessing to the audience.