Dr. Allan Schore: How Relationships Shape Your Brain

Dr. Allan Schore 0s

• Dr. Allan Schore is a clinician, psychoanalyst, and world expert in how childhood attachment patterns impact adult relationships, including romantic relationships, friendships, professional relationships, and one's relationship to themselves 14s.
• Dr. Schore is on the faculty in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the University of California, Los Angeles School of Medicine and has authored several important books, including "Right Brain Psychotherapy" and "Development of the Unconscious Mind" 38s.
• The first 24 months of age are crucial for brain development, which is influenced by interactions with primary caretakers, such as the mother or father 59s.
• During this period, the right brain and left brain mediate specific but different processes, with the right brain circuitry involved in developing resonance with the primary caretaker 1m14s.
• This resonance involves transitioning between states of calm and excitement, which is critical to emotional development and the formation of attachments 1m35s.
• Attachment styles, such as avoidant, anxious, or secure attachment, develop based on early life experiences and can be understood through the lens of childhood attachment patterns 1m54s.
• These childhood attachment patterns can be modified through specific protocols to achieve better relationships with others and oneself 2m12s.
• Understanding childhood attachment patterns is essential for personal growth and improving relationships, and Dr. Schore's work provides valuable insights into this area 2m26s.

Sponsors: David & Eight Sleep 2m37s

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Thoughts & Unconscious Mind 5m49s

• The question of what percentage of our thinking and behavior is governed by our conscious mind versus our unconscious mind is a central topic of discussion 5m51s.
• The unconscious mind has been a significant part of the discussion, especially considering the speaker's background in psychoanalysis and psychodynamic psychotherapy, as well as neuroscience 6m5s.
• The right brain is suggested to be the unconscious mind, constantly processing information, especially emotional information, at levels beneath conscious awareness 6m22s.
• This processing of information by the right brain occurs especially when an individual is in an emotional interaction 6m40s.
• It is estimated that 90-95% of our basic motivations for our actions are unconscious, with data supporting this claim 6m53s.
• The unconscious mind operates beneath the surface at all times, influencing our decisions, contrary to the previous belief that it only emerges in dreams 7m7s.
• The right brain plays a crucial role in reading unconscious communications between individuals, such as assessing safety and understanding in interactions 7m19s.
• These unconscious communications are critical and more important than previously thought, operating constantly beneath the surface 7m29s.

Right vs Left Brain, Child Development, Attachment 7m36s

• The human brain growth spurt occurs from the last trimester of pregnancy through the second to third year of life, during which the right hemisphere of the brain is dominant 8m23s.
• Six major studies in neuroscience laboratories have shown that the right hemisphere is dominant during this period, with the left hemisphere not experiencing a growth spurt until the end of the second year and into the third year 8m35s.
• The right hemisphere's dominance is not limited to cortical areas but also includes subcortical areas, such as the amygdala, which has different functions in the right and left hemispheres 9m10s.
• Attachment is primarily about right-brain dynamics, occurring during the brain growth spurt in the first two years of life, and is shaped by the mother's regulation of the baby's brain through the attachment mechanism 9m37s.
• The mother shapes the baby's right brain through face, voice, and gesture, reading the baby's expressions, and resonating with and regulating the baby's communications 11m55s.
• The attachment relationship in the first two years of life, which is a right-brain to right-brain connection, influences strategies of affect regulation for the rest of one's life 12m34s.
• The development of insecure attachments is also shaped by the right hemisphere, and the attachment relationship can be either secure or insecure, with the mother's influence being "for better or for worse" 10m17s.
• Throughout the lifespan, the brain experiences growth spurts, including one in adolescence, which is initially marked by a right-brain growth spurt, followed by a left-brain growth spurt 10m52s.
• Attachment is about the communication and regulation of emotions, with the mother and infant communicating right-brain to right-brain in the first two years of life 11m22s.
• The key to understanding attachment lies in the regulation of emotions, which was not fully explored in early attachment studies that focused on behaviors and cognition 12m48s.

Attachment Styles & Development, Emotions & Physiology 13m19s

• A study on attachment styles involves a mother and child being separated in a pseudo daycare setting, and the child's reaction to the mother's return is observed to classify their attachment behavior as secure, insecure, or a combination of different behaviors 13m27s.
• The classification of attachment behaviors has led to the understanding of adult relationship styles, including secure, insecure, anxious, and avoidant styles 14m8s.
• Research suggests that right brain and left brain dominance changes throughout a person's lifespan, but it is more closely tied to developmental milestones than chronological age 14m24s.
• The attachment relationship is a hierarchy that starts subcortically and moves to cortical, with changes occurring at different stages of life, as described by Eric Erikson 14m51s.
• The attachment relationship guides a person's relationships with others and their strategies for dealing with stress, which is influenced by how the mother regulates the baby's stress during a critical period 15m9s.
• The critical period for the right brain is the first two years of life, during which strategies for affect regulation, dealing with stress, and handling novel situations are developed 15m36s.
• Attachment models have moved from focusing on behavior to cognition to emotion, with the understanding that attachment is a psychobiological process 16m3s.
• Emotions are associated with both psychological and physiological events, including the physiology of the stress response and the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems 16m42s.
• A mother who is securely attached is a good affect regulator of her baby, recognizing and synchronizing with the baby's emotions and regulating their negative states 17m33s.
• The mother's regulation of the baby's emotions is an implicit process, using her right brain and intuition to respond to the baby's needs 17m58s.

Intuition, Arousal, Emotional Regulation & Attachment 18m12s

• Intuition involves implicit processes that occur beneath levels of awareness, allowing a person to know what to do without conscious thought, such as a mother intuitively knowing how to regulate her baby's emotional states 18m27s.
• The mother uses her tone of voice and facial expressions to regulate the baby's emotional arousal, either upregulating or downregulating the baby's state depending on the situation 18m33s.
• Attachment is the regulator of emotional arousal, which includes the autonomic nervous system, and involves the regulation of the limbic system, emotion processing, and the autonomic nervous system 18m59s.
• The right brain has a control system for attachment and is responsible for regulating emotional states, particularly in the early years of life before the left hemisphere develops 19m32s.
• The right hemisphere processes implicit stimuli, while the left hemisphere processes explicit, conscious, and rational stimuli 19m55s.
• Attachment theory is essentially a regulation theory, where attachment is interactive regulation, and the mother regulates the baby's emotional states implicitly, beneath levels of awareness 20m17s.
• There are two forms of regulation: autoregulation, where the individual regulates their own emotional states, and interactive regulation, where the individual regulates their emotional states with the help of another person 21m28s.
• Autoregulation involves the regulation of the amygdala by the right orbital frontal cortex, which is the highest level of the right hemisphere and is responsible for regulating emotional states 21m44s.
• In a secure attachment, the individual learns how to autoregulate their emotions when apart from others and how to interactively regulate their emotions with others, particularly in times of stress or when sharing joy states 22m16s.

Psychobiological Attunement, Repair; Insecure & Anxious Attachment 23m13s

• In avoidant attachment, a toddler around 2-3 years old tends to auto-regulate more often than seeking help from others for coordinated regulation 23m15s.
• The key to attachment is psychobiological attunement, where the mother regulates both the psychological and physiological aspects of the child, including the autonomic nervous system 23m40s.
• Insecure attachment can result from misattunement, where the mother misreads the baby's states, but a good enough caregiver can repair this misattunement by resynchronizing and reconnecting with the baby 24m17s.
• The repair of misattunement is crucial for a secure attachment, allowing the baby to understand and use the experience to develop a secure attachment 24m47s.
• Avoidant personalities, also known as dismissive personalities, are uncomfortable with real closeness and tend to auto-regulate, dismissing the need for interactive regulation 25m17s.
• Insecure anxious attachment is characterized by a person who is always interactively regulating and seeking help from others, but struggles with auto-regulation 25m36s.
• If a child and mother do not coordinate their autonomic regulation, it can lead to an insecure attachment, and this idea is crucial in understanding attachment styles 26m14s.
• An avoidant attached individual will learn to auto-regulate and seek help from others less often, whereas an anxious attached individual will have difficulty self-soothing but will seek help from others more frequently 26m43s.
• The same circuitry and mechanisms used to establish infant-mother attachment are repurposed later in life for adult relationships, highlighting the importance of early attachment experiences 27m35s.
• Attachment relationships are retained as autobiographical memories in the first two years of life, even before the development of the left hemisphere, and can influence positive and negative transferences later in life 28m10s.

Attachment Styles, Regulation Theory; Therapy 28m33s

• There are four main attachment styles: secure, two types of organized insecure (avoiding and anxious), and disorganized-disoriented, also known as type D attachment 28m34s.
• Disorganized-disoriented attachment is associated with an inability to auto-regulate or interactively regulate under stress, often seen in conditions like PTSD and borderline personality disorder 28m56s.
• In anxious attachment, the attachment system is continually activated, leading to a constant activation of the right hemisphere, while in insecure dismissive attachment, the attachment system is deactivated, resulting in a deactivation of the right brain 29m34s.
• Secure attachment is efficient and can switch between different states, allowing for better communication with the left hemisphere when it comes online 29m56s.
• Regulation theory is a theory of the development of the self in optimal situations, as well as the psychopathogenesis of the self, including the early origins of psychiatric and personality disorders such as schizophrenia, depression, and narcissistic personality disorders 30m14s.
• The right hemisphere is dominant for the stress response, sympathetic nervous system, and parasympathetic nervous system, and plays a crucial role in attachment and regulation 30m58s.
• In therapy, the key is regulation, and the therapeutic relationship is essential, with a right brain to right brain interaction between the therapist and patient 31m44s.
• A good therapist knows how to bring back attachment dynamics, creating a sense of safety and trust, which is critical for therapy 32m26s.
• The ability to form a therapeutic relationship is the best indicator of success in therapy, and a good therapist can co-create this relationship with patients of different attachment styles, including avoidant, secure, anxious, and borderline patients 32m43s.
• In the first therapy session, the therapist listens to the patient's verbalizations to diagnose and understand symptomatology, while also listening beneath the words to track the attachment relationship and arousal disregulation 33m12s.
• To access the right lateralized attachment dynamics, the therapist must switch from the left brain to the right brain, a process known as surrender, which involves letting go and allowing oneself to be in the right brain state 34m0s.

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“Surrender,” Therapy, Patient Synchronization 35m51s

• The concept of "surrender" in therapy involves the therapist listening to the patient's narrative while also paying attention to their underlying emotional state, such as feelings of anger, despair, or shock, and carrying this information in parallel tracks 35m52s.
• The therapist's goal is not only to soothe the patient but also to allow them to have a catharsis or release of their emotions, and to intervene at the right moment to coordinate and show the patient a different way to think and feel about the topic 36m26s.
• The therapist listens to the patient's left-brain communications (verbal narrative) while also listening to their right-brain communications (non-verbal cues, emotional state) 36m45s.
• The patient, especially one who is depressed, often communicates through right-brain communications, such as sadness in their voice and a disregulated face 36m57s.
• The therapist's first task is to synchronize with the patient's emotional arousal, whether it's hypoarousal (depression) or hyperarousal (anxiety), by matching their physiology with the patient's 37m18s.
• Through synchronization, the therapist can literally feel in their body what the patient is feeling, allowing them to understand the patient from the inside out 37m32s.
• The therapist may pick up on the patient's disregulation through their body, which may differ from the patient's verbal report 37m46s.
• The therapist synchronizes with the patient's emotional state, picking up on points where they shift into and out of an emotional state, and then implicitly regulates the patient's emotions through tone of voice, gestures, and facial expressions 38m13s.
• As the therapist and patient synchronize, they move from disregulation to regulation, allowing the therapist to show the patient what autoregulation or coordinated regulation is like 38m41s.
• The therapist's face, voice, and gestures convey this regulation, creating a therapeutic alliance with the patient 39m11s.
• The first session's key goal is to begin synchronizing with the patient and forming a therapeutic alliance, which may lead to the patient feeling better and sensing that the therapist understands them 39m20s.

Synchrony, Empathy, Therapy & Developing Autoregulation 39m46s

• Adult romantic relationships can provide healing for failures of childhood attachment, and learning to "parent" oneself is often mentioned in popular psychology as a means of self-soothing, although this concept is not operationally defined 39m48s.
• The process of rewiring the capacity for autoregulation or coordinated regulation can start with a therapist, partly due to synchrony, which refers to the phenomenon of two people being synchronized in the same moment and feeling something spontaneously between themselves 40m29s.
• Interactive regulation, rather than autoregulation, is key, and it occurs on an implicit level, often without conscious awareness, with the right hemisphere playing a crucial role in this process 41m22s.
• The regulation of emotions, such as rage, loss, shame, and disgust, is implicit and requires the skill of being with patients over a long period, especially when they are in a disregulated state 41m52s.
• The difference between explicit and implicit regulation lies in the level of understanding, with explicit regulation being an intellectual understanding of symptoms and implicit regulation being an unconscious understanding at a physiological level 42m34s.
• Synchrony is the mechanism underlying empathy, which is a right-brain function, and there is a difference between emotional empathy, where one feels what another person is feeling, and cognitive empathy, which is an intellectual understanding that does not necessarily lead to changes 42m58s.
• Changes in the brain occur in the right hemisphere, specifically in the orbital frontal cortex, which forms new connections with the insula and amygdala, leading to more regulated states 44m4s.
• A strong therapeutic alliance, safety, and trust are essential for synchrony and interactive regulation to occur, and as synchrony increases, symptomatology will change due to the shift from disregulation to regulation 44m27s.

Mother vs Father, Child Development; Single Caretakers 45m7s

• The formation of attachment circuits in a baby's brain is not gender-specific, and a female baby can form attachment patterns with her mother or female caretaker that can be reactivated in adult relationships with men, crossing gender lines 45m21s.
• Research suggests that there is a primary attachment figure for a baby, which is the person who interactively regulates the baby's stress between ages 0 and 2, and this can be either the mother or the father 46m43s.
• The primary attachment figure provides the right brain for the baby when it is under stress, and this role is not limited to the mother, as men can also have a well-developed right brain 47m1s.
• In most cultures, the mother's right brain is the primary attachment figure in the first year or two, but this can vary, and a stay-at-home dad with a well-developed right brain can also take on this role 47m35s.
• Around the end of the second year, the father becomes a primary attachment figure as well, but with some differences in his interaction with the baby, such as more arousing play and activation of the sympathetic autonomic system 48m0s.
• The father's role is more focused on teaching the child to take risks, promoting autonomy and independence, and helping the child tolerate more hyperarousal states, such as during rough-and-tumble play 48m31s.
• The mother's role is more focused on interactive regulation, providing a sense of safety and security for the baby, while the father's role is more focused on promoting exploration and independence 48m51s.
• A mother shapes a baby's right brain in the first year, while a father shapes the baby's left brain towards the end of the first year and into the third year 49m3s.
• The father's influence on the baby's left brain is not limited to the later stages of development, as he may have also had positive experiences with the baby early on in life 49m22s.
• A father who is tender yet instrumental and teaches the baby about the world is a good example of someone who can shape the baby's left brain 49m31s.
• In situations where there is only one primary caretaker, the person initially provides the right brain functions and then also provides the left brain functions 50m10s.
• This can be seen in single parents, such as a single woman with a child, who initially provides the right brain functions and then also provides the left brain functions in the second year 50m21s.
• In single-parent households, other family members or father figures may also step in to provide the left brain functions 50m27s.
• Both men and women have right and left brains, but the left brain skills are different and more autonomous 50m39s.

MDMA, Right Brain; Fetal Development 50m51s

• Modern exploration of compounds like MDMA has shown potential in facilitating right brain synchrony between therapist and patient, with clinical studies indicating its possible usefulness in improving patient-therapist relationships and accelerating the therapeutic process, although it raises ethical concerns about both the patient and therapist taking the compound 50m51s.
• The relationship between the therapist and patient is key, and compounds like MDMA may be more efficacious if specifically involving right brain dynamics with a person who knows how to work with those right brain dynamics 51m41s.
• The right brain is often misunderstood as a simpler version of the left hemisphere, but it works completely differently and is the foundation of human behavior, with subcortical areas regulating attachment and being key to human development 52m20s.
• Research has shown that the right brain is in a growth spurt from the last trimester of fetal development to the first five years of life, and there is evidence of lateralization in the fetus and early memories being stored in the right amygdala 53m32s.
• The deeper parts of the right brain, including the insula and right amygdala, are evolving at birth, and there is synchronization across the placenta, regulating each other's autonomic nervous systems 54m5s.
• High levels of cortisol can cross the placental barrier and impact the development of the amygdala, leading to a continuous stress response and potentially affecting the evolution of the amygdala 54m41s.
• The development of the amygdala can be impacted by the mother's stress state during fetal development, and hormones and neuromodulators like dopamine and noradrenaline play a crucial role in regulating the development of the brain and forming neuroplastic circuits 55m21s.

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Integrating Positive & Negative Emotions, Quiet vs Excited Love 57m46s

• A description of the coordination between a mother and child highlights the mother's role in regulating the baby's transition to up states, such as when the baby wakes up from a nap, by using sounds, humming, or bouncing lullabies to help the baby transition smoothly 58m0s.
• The mother's ability to regulate the baby's arousal is critical, and this process involves the release of neurotransmitters like serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine 58m31s.
• The mother's regulation of the baby's transition to up states is also related to the release of norepinephrine and adrenaline at low, healthy levels 59m7s.
• The ability to oscillate between relaxation and excitement is the basis of all relationships, including adult friendships and relationships, which involves implicit emotional regulation 59m34s.
• Emotional regulation is key, and there has been too much emphasis on the downregulation of negative states, while the upregulation of positive states has been overlooked 59m39s.
• Attachment is not just about downregulating negative states, but also about upregulating positive states, and this is important in therapy as well 1h0m4s.
• Positive emotions, such as joy, enthusiasm, and excitement, are crucial in human experience, and they have neural aspects, such as the release of dopamine 1h0m20s.
• In therapy, it's not just about sharing and downregulating negative states, but also about sharing and upregulating positive states 1h0m31s.
• There are two types of love, quiet love and excited love, which were distinguished by psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott, and both are important and need to be integrated 1h0m50s.
• Quiet love involves the downregulation of noradrenaline and is associated with a parasympathetic state, while excited love is a higher arousal state and is also important 1h1m7s.
• Emotions, including negative ones like shame, serve adaptive purposes and are necessary for regulating high levels of arousal, with shame specifically helping to dose down very high levels of arousal 1h1m45s.
• A secure attachment is characterized by the ability to integrate both positive and negative emotions, allowing individuals to effectively manage their emotional states 1h2m7s.
• A securely attached mother can synchronize with her baby's emotional state, whether it's positive or negative, and help the baby regulate their emotions 1h2m17s.
• Insecure attachment styles, such as avoidant or anxious attachment, can contribute to the development of narcissistic personality disorders 1h2m34s.
• There are two types of narcissistic personality disorders: those with a vulnerable attachment, characterized by a need for constant praise, and those with an egotistical attachment 1h2m50s.
• Vulnerable attachment is a type of anxious attachment, where individuals constantly seek praise and validation 1h2m54s.
• Egotistical attachment is another type of narcissistic personality disorder, where individuals have an inflated sense of self-importance 1h3m3s.
• The ability to integrate positive and negative emotions is crucial for managing stress and adversity in life 1h3m9s.
• Failing to integrate positive and negative emotions can lead to emotional splitting, a psychological defense mechanism where individuals compartmentalize their emotions 1h3m25s.

Splitting, Boarderline; Therapy & Emotions 1h3m33s

• Splitting is a primary feature of borderline personality disorder, characterized by the "I love you, I hate you" phenomenon, where a person's perception of someone or something suddenly switches from positive to negative, often triggered by a minor incident 1h3m42s.
• In borderline personality disorder, splitting can occur externally, where the person views someone as all bad and themselves as all good, or internally, where there is a split between a good self and a bad self, and these two parts cannot be integrated 1h4m24s.
• In therapy, individuals with borderline personality disorder often exhibit an over-idealization of the therapist, followed by a sudden shift to a negative perception of the therapist after a stressor or misattunement, which can lead to the person dropping out of therapy if not addressed 1h5m7s.
• Splitting is not unique to therapeutic relationships and can extend to other domains of life, such as work relationships and friendships, as it is a way of seeing the world that is deeply ingrained in the person's emotional relationships and right hemisphere of the brain 1h6m2s.
• In narcissistic personality disorder, the caregiver's positive perception of the infant can suddenly shift to a negative perception if the infant becomes depressed, leading to a disconnection and a lack of interactive regulation 1h6m25s.
• In dismissive attachment, a person may emotionally disengage and become abstract when they feel too close to someone, acting out their early attachment dynamics and expecting the other person to respond in a certain way 1h7m7s.
• In therapeutic relationships, individuals with anxious or avoidant attachment styles may exhibit a pattern of coming closer and moving apart, which can be acted out in the therapy session and requires the therapist to be aware of their own emotional tone and physiology 1h8m0s.
• Changes in personality require changes in the right brain, which involves implicit, emotional processes, and therapy should focus on emotion and the therapeutic relationship to bring about lasting changes 1h9m4s.
• All forms of therapy now recognize the importance of emotion and the therapeutic relationship in bringing about change, and therapy should focus on laying the groundwork for emotional regulation and change 1h9m13s.

Tool: Right Brain, Vulnerability & Repair 1h9m24s

• The right brain can grow and repair itself, but it requires interpersonal connections and interactive regulation, rather than just self-regulation 1h9m25s.
• Finding people to be close, open, and vulnerable with is key to changing the right brain and forming a right brain-to-right brain communication system 1h10m28s.
• Interactive dynamics with others can create or elaborate on existing circuitry in the right brain, which may be atrophied in some individuals due to a lack of emotional nourishment early in life 1h10m59s.
• Engaging with others can activate right brain circuits, and when not around these people, the right brain circuitry can provide a soothing function, allowing individuals to feel secure in their ability to attach to others in healthy ways 1h11m22s.
• Having close friends or repairing relationships with family members can help elaborate on right brain circuitry, allowing individuals to feel confident in their ability to form healthy attachments 1h11m36s.
• The key to emotion and mental health is a right brain emotional situation, and therapy is about reworking emotion and forming a therapeutic alliance with the therapist 1h12m18s.
• In a therapy session, heightened affective moments can occur when the individual starts to open up and share their emotions, often around the middle of the session 1h13m9s.
• These heightened affective moments, which can last around 50-60 seconds, are crucial for emotional growth and development 1h13m41s.
• Sudden moments of synchronization in interpersonal relationships can lead to shared affective moments, allowing for potential change and growth in individuals, particularly in the right brain 1h13m49s.
• These shared affective moments are stored in autobiographical memory, which is closely tied to the right brain's use of images, enabling individuals to recall specific contexts and feelings of closeness 1h14m29s.
• The right brain plays a crucial role in storing these shared affective moments, making them more significant than intellectual knowledge in driving personal change 1h14m59s.
• Right brain-to-right brain communication is an ongoing process, but some individuals may struggle to read and interpret nonverbal cues, such as facial expressions and tone of voice, and have difficulty synchronizing with others 1h15m18s.

Right vs. Left Brain, Attention 1h15m32s

• When making an effort to listen carefully to someone, there is a competition between the left and right brain, resulting in reduced right brain listening, which is related to the surrender aspect of listening 1h15m34s.
• The right brain can be engaged by widening one's gaze and trying to feel something coming in, rather than just focusing on the content of the words being spoken 1h16m8s.
• This shift from left to right brain can occur in about 100 milliseconds, and it is not possible to be in both hemispheres at the same time 1h16m41s.
• The right hemisphere is dominant for attention, and there are two types of attention: narrow attention, which is used by the left brain, and wide-ranging attention, which is used by the right brain 1h17m4s.
• Narrow attention is narrowly focused, such as following someone's words one after the other, while wide-ranging attention is more open and receptive, taking into account both external and internal stimuli 1h17m21s.
• Wide-ranging attention is also known as evenly suspended attention, a concept introduced by Freud, and it allows for a broader understanding of the context and emotional atmosphere of a situation 1h17m37s.
• People who are hyperlinear, hyperlogical, and hyper-rational, and live mostly in the left hemisphere, may have difficulty seeing the big picture and understanding the broader context of a situation 1h18m30s.
• The emotional atmosphere and context of a conversation can change when shifting from left to right brain, and this shift can affect the feeling of safety and trust between the individuals involved 1h19m17s.

Right Brain Synchronization, Eye Connection, Empathy 1h19m26s

• The understanding of the brain has shifted from a one-person, intrapsychic psychology to a two-person, interpersonal psychology, focusing on the interactions between two individuals, such as a mother and baby or a patient and therapist 1h19m28s.
• Neuroimaging techniques, including hyperscanning, now allow for the simultaneous scanning of two people's brains during interpersonal interactions, revealing that the right brains of the two individuals synchronize, especially when they are in emotional states and looking at each other face-to-face 1h20m15s.
• The right temporal parietal junction is the part of the right brain that synchronizes with the other person's right brain, and it plays a crucial role in empathic communication 1h21m0s.
• Direct eye connection is a powerful form of communication, and the eyes are controlled by the autonomic nervous system, which synchronizes with the other person's autonomic nervous system during face-to-face interactions 1h21m24s.
• The face, voice, and gesture are processed in different parts of the right hemisphere, with the posterior parts processing the face, the sensory areas processing the voice, and the posterior parts also processing gesture and tactile information 1h22m0s.
• The integration of this information occurs in the right temporal parietal junction, which is responsible for sending and receiving communications during empathic synchronization 1h22m36s.
• In a therapeutic setting, the patient and therapist can literally be in the same emotional state, with the right temporal parietal junction playing a key role in this synchronization, allowing for a deeper understanding and communication 1h22m50s.
• This right brain to right brain communication is a key aspect of interpersonal relationships and is essential for building empathy and understanding between individuals 1h23m25s.
• Synchronization between two individuals can be observed when tracking each other's brain activity, specifically between the right temple parietal regions, indicating a right brain to right brain communication that is always occurring in this context 1h23m52s.
• This type of communication is a key aspect of the relational unconscious, which is a new understanding in psychoanalysis that the unconscious is not just active during dreams, but at all points, and communicates with another relational unconscious right brain to right brain 1h24m25s.
• The relational unconscious has changed the understanding of psychotherapy, shifting the focus from cognitive insight to the ability to have emotionally laden conversations and make emotional connections with another human being 1h24m50s.
• The therapeutic relationship is now considered the primary factor of change in psychotherapy, which is different from the traditional approach where the analyst would interpret the patient's unconscious thoughts from a distant perspective 1h25m1s.
• Modern psychoanalysis has also shifted from a non-face-to-face approach, where the patient would lie on a couch, to a face-to-face contact, which is supported by newer imaging tools that reveal synchrony between individuals 1h25m23s.

Music & Dogs, Resonance 1h25m39s

• Music and dogs can evoke strong emotional responses and create a sense of resonance, with some people experiencing a feeling of fundamental truth when listening to certain types of music or interacting with dogs 1h25m39s.
• The emotional connection to music is highly individualized, with different genres and styles resonating with different people, and the lyrics may not always make logical sense but still convey a deeper meaning 1h26m15s.
• The connection to dogs is also deeply emotional, with domestic animals able to sense and respond to human emotions, creating a profound bond between humans and animals 1h27m8s.
• The right temporal-parietal junction and the right orbital frontal cortex are key brain regions involved in the communication and regulation of emotions, with the surrender switch being the colosal switch from the left to the right brain 1h27m55s.
• Music and dogs can both be mechanisms for affect regulation, with music activating the right brain and dogs providing tactile, auditory, and olfactory cues that can downregulate stress and promote emotional connection 1h28m27s.
• The sense of smell is also an important aspect of human relationships and attachment, with dogs being highly attuned to human scents and able to pick up on emotional cues through smell 1h29m32s.
• Playing music with others or experiencing live music can create a sense of synchrony and shared emotional experience, with studies showing that performers and audiences can enter synchronized states during a performance 1h30m27s.
• The connection to music and dogs can be a way to shift from the left brain to the right brain, promoting emotional regulation and downregulation of stress 1h30m3s.
• Bob Dylan's music is cited as an example of how the meaning and emotion behind lyrics can be conveyed through the sound and tone of the music, rather than just the logical content of the words 1h26m32s.

Right Brain & Body; Empathic Connection, Body Language 1h30m58s

• The brain and body are connected in both directions, and the right brain has preferential communication with the parasympathetic and sympathetic aspects of the body, although it is likely a mixed connection 1h31m3s.
• Bodily sensing is a real phenomenon, where the diaphragm and core relax when a person is happy, and the right brain is more connected to the body than the left brain 1h31m28s.
• Ian McGilchrist's work suggests that the right brain is more dominant for unconscious will and is more connected to the body, which is important for emotional connections and empathy 1h32m17s.
• People can start to sense right brain-left brain shifts by paying less attention to the content of words and more to how a conversation is feeling, and by being aware of body posture and its impact on emotional states 1h32m44s.
• Manuel Hammer's work suggests that therapists can reach the affect of their patients by leaning back and letting the atmosphere come over them, rather than leaning forward, which can be seen as impending and not allowing the person space 1h33m27s.
• Leaning back can help create an emotional connection and allow the therapist to pick up on things they didn't see before, and can even lead to images coming to mind that represent the emotional experience of the other person 1h34m15s.
• Human relationships involve an "affective wireless" where individuals pick up on each other's emotions and images, creating a back-and-forth communication between the two, similar to right brain to right brain communication, as described by Hammer 1h34m49s.
• According to Freud, the human unconscious acts like a receptor, picking up communications from the unconscious of another human being without going through the conscious mind, allowing humans to sense the unconscious of others without realizing it 1h35m4s.
• Emotional communication involves spontaneous behaviors, which are not thought out and are more trustworthy, as they reveal a person's true feelings and intentions 1h35m34s.
• Spontaneous two-way communication, turn-taking, and synchrony are essential for building trust and understanding in relationships, and this pattern of communication is established early in life through the attachment between a mother and her infant 1h36m6s.
• In a good relationship, turn-taking behaviors are smooth and effortless, and this pattern of communication can be observed even in conversations between strangers, as seen in the conversation between the two individuals 1h36m33s.

Tool: Text Message, Communication, Relationships 1h36m47s

• Text messaging has become a dominant mode of communication, but it lacks most of the essential elements of human interaction, such as emotional cues, tone, and latency, which can be detrimental to building and reinforcing communication 1h36m50s.
• The left hemisphere of the brain is becoming more dominant in today's society, which can be a problem, as it can lead to a lack of interpersonal dynamics and an over-reliance on text-based communication 1h38m35s.
• Some experts, like Ian, believe that the left hemisphere's dominance can be a huge problem, and that the right hemisphere is being neglected, leading to issues with emotional intelligence and interpersonal relationships 1h38m44s.
• A rule of thumb is to avoid arguing over text, as it can be devoid of emotional cues and can lead to misunderstandings, and instead, pick up the phone or engage in face-to-face conversations 1h39m7s.
• There is a hierarchy of effectiveness in communication, with text messaging being at the bottom, followed by voice memos, phone calls, and handwritten letters, with face-to-face interactions being the most effective 1h40m9s.
• Handwritten letters, in particular, hold a special significance, as they require effort and reflection, and can be a meaningful way to connect with others, even if it's not a real-time exchange 1h40m25s.
• The act of writing letters can help individuals reflect on themselves and their emotions, and can be a powerful way to make connections with others 1h41m11s.
• However, for certain personality types, texting can be a convenient and effective way to communicate, especially for those who are more left-brained 1h41m32s.
• In addition to face-to-face interactions, other ways to feed the right brain include traveling, being in nature, and engaging in activities that promote creativity and emotional intelligence 1h41m51s.
• There are concerns that the changes in communication styles, particularly the rise of text messaging, may not be entirely positive, and may lead to a decline in emotional intelligence and interpersonal skills 1h42m12s.

Right Brain Dominance & Activities; Tool: Fostering the Right Brain 1h42m18s

• The highest levels of human nature are found in the right brain, which is responsible for intuition, drawing on body sensations, imagery, creativity, and processing novel information 1h42m42s.
• The right brain is dominant in various activities, including creativity, metaphors, imagination, humor, music, poetry, art, morality, passion, and spirituality, with love being the most spectacular 1h43m58s.
• Activities that allow individuals to "drop into" their right brain circuitry include interacting with nature, walking, and practicing wide-range attention, which is associated with the right brain 1h44m38s.
• Wide-range attention involves an evenly suspended attention and a widening of gaze, as opposed to the narrow gaze and attention associated with the left brain 1h45m1s.
• When individuals are in nature and walking, they tend to be in panoramic vision, taking in their surroundings in a more spherical and less focused manner 1h45m28s.
• The right brain is also dominant in processing novel information, and the pursuit of a curious mind and open experiences can help keep the right brain active 1h47m15s.
• In therapy, there has been too much emphasis on technique, and research shows that the right brain process is key to making long-term changes, with psychotherapy being more effective than other forms like CBT 1h46m51s.
• The right brain is also responsible for the release of noradrenaline in response to new experiences, which can help keep the mind curious and open 1h47m26s.
• Encouraging patients to engage in activities that stimulate the right brain, such as journaling, free associating, listening to music, and taking walks, can be beneficial outside of therapy sessions 1h45m55s.
• Seeking new experiences in different parts of the world can bring up new challenges and help feed curiosity, as stated by Einstein, and can be achieved through activities such as travel, which can be a fortunate gift that leads to new relationships and friendships 1h47m42s.
• Novelty and sharing new experiences with others can be another way to stimulate personal growth and development 1h48m43s.
• Exercise is a key factor in the healing process, both physically and mentally, and is fundamental to restorative sleep, according to scientist Navio from San Diego 1h48m54s.
• Taking care of one's body is essential, and this is often learned through early experiences, primarily taught through the body, which is not always seen in certain pathologies 1h49m27s.
• The ability to reflect inward and look back upon oneself is crucial, allowing individuals to see what they want to see and don't want to see, which is an important aspect of personal growth and self-awareness 1h49m57s.

Defenses, Blind Spots 1h50m10s

• Defenses can be both adaptive and maladaptive, and they play a crucial role in protecting individuals from overwhelming experiences, with examples including dissociation and repression 1h50m15s.
• Dissociation is a defense mechanism that helps individuals cope with overwhelming experiences, while repression is a defense that can be normal and adaptive or maladaptive, depending on its strength 1h50m23s.
• When repression is strong, the left hemisphere of the brain shuts out information from the right hemisphere, highlighting the importance of becoming aware of one's defenses 1h50m43s.
• Individuals often have blind spots that they cannot see themselves, but can only become aware of through feedback from others, particularly those they trust 1h51m0s.
• Intimate relationships and close relationships are essential for personal growth and change, as they provide a safe space for individuals to share their experiences and receive feedback 1h51m33s.
• Trusting others and being open to negative feedback is crucial for overcoming blind spots and achieving personal growth 1h51m52s.
• Emotions, including negative ones, have adaptive value and are essential for personal growth, and individuals should strive to be familiar with and understand all types of emotions 1h52m44s.
• Rather than suppressing or avoiding negative emotions, individuals should allow themselves to feel and process these emotions, as they can ultimately lead to personal growth and transformation 1h52m20s.
• Allowing oneself to fully experience and process emotions can help individuals move forward and find new perspectives, as emotions can shape and change over time 1h52m36s.

Creativity, Accessing the Right Brain, Insight 1h53m14s

• Some individuals, such as a songwriter and Joni Mitchell, engage in activities like painting or drawing to stimulate their creativity and "grease the gears" for their main vocation, which in these cases is songwriting, and this process may be an unconscious way of tapping into right brain circuitry and increasing its activity 1h53m15s.
• This technique can be seen as a way to access creativity, which is the ability to see something novel in a new way and look at the same thing through new eyes 1h54m11s.
• Artists often know how to get out of the left brain and into the right brain, and this can be seen as a form of surrender, allowing them to access their creative potential 1h54m25s.
• A period of self-study and exploration can be beneficial for personal growth and learning, as it allows individuals to move beyond their usual ways of thinking and understanding 1h54m42s.
• Engaging in creative activities, such as playing the piano, can be a way to access the right brain and develop new skills and ways of thinking 1h54m59s.
• Visualization and musical capacity can be developed through practice and exploration, allowing individuals to access new ways of thinking and understanding 1h55m32s.
• The process of learning and growth can be intuitive, and individuals may find themselves drawn to new activities and ways of thinking without fully understanding why 1h56m24s.
• Exploration and discovery can be a key part of the learning process, and individuals may find that they are able to master new skills and areas of knowledge through this process 1h56m55s.
• The AHA experience, or moment of sudden insight, is often associated with the right brain, and there is evidence to suggest that this type of experience is an important part of the learning and creative process 1h57m1s.
• Insights can come quickly and suddenly, often seeming to appear out of nowhere, and can be triggered by experiences that make sense in retrospect 1h57m9s.
• Memorization can be a waste of time and effort, and instead, it's more effective to focus on understanding information in a way that allows for deeper comprehension 1h57m33s.
• This approach to learning can lead to the development of an enormous memory, where one knows where to find information, how to access it, and what's important 1h57m56s.
• Writing down information can help solidify it in memory, and taking physical notes, such as Xeroxing papers and reading them at a desk, can be a more effective learning technique than reading and studying on a computer 1h58m10s.
• Developing a personalized learning process through introspection can help individuals absorb information more effectively and retain it in their long-term memory 1h58m58s.
• The left hemisphere of the brain is associated with surface-level processing, while the right hemisphere is associated with deeper, more emotional experiences that can be stored in autobiographical memory 1h59m8s.
• Experiences that evoke strong emotions can be stored more deeply in memory than information that is simply memorized, and can be recalled more easily at any point in time 1h59m20s.

Paternal Leave, Parent-Child Relationships, Attachment 1h59m31s

• The right brain circuitry and autonomic synchrony between the primary caretaker, typically the mother, and the infant are extremely important, especially during the earliest years of life 1h59m31s.
• The amount of time spent with the child during this period is crucial, but many parents struggle to balance work and family responsibilities due to a lack of support from the culture 1h59m49s.
• In contrast, other rich countries, such as those in Scandinavia, provide more generous parental leave policies, with three months of paternal leave and six months or more of maternal leave 2h0m30s.
• These policies recognize the critical importance of the earliest years in shaping a child's personality and values, and that this is the time when parents should be investing in their relationship with their child 2h0m44s.
• In the United States, most people return to work after just six weeks, which is at the beginning of the critical period for the right brain, autonomic nervous system, and amygdala development 2h1m10s.
• Research has shown that the best predictors of adult satisfaction in life are emotion and conduct, rather than IQ, highlighting the need to focus on emotional development and regulation in early childhood 2h2m2s.
• The London School of Economics found that the best childhood predictor of adult satisfaction in life is emotion, followed by conduct, and then IQ, suggesting that the current focus on executive functions and IQ is misguided 2h1m58s.
• The UNICEF has reported that the United States ranks last in emotional well-being and childhood well-being among 36 rich countries, highlighting the need for a shift in priorities 2h2m49s.
• The importance of emotional transfer and regulation in early childhood cannot be overstated, and parents and caregivers should prioritize this aspect of development over mere knowledge transfer 2h3m46s.
• The conversation highlights the need for a more nuanced understanding of child development, one that takes into account the critical role of emotional development and regulation in shaping a child's personality and values 2h4m7s.

Zero-Cost Support, YouTube, Spotify & Apple Follow & Reviews, Sponsors, YouTube Feedback, Protocols Book, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter 2h5m16s

• To access links to Dr. Alan Shaw's books, please refer to the show notes or captions, and consider subscribing to the YouTube channel as a zero-cost way to provide support 2h5m16s.
• Following the podcast on Spotify and Apple, and leaving a five-star review, are also zero-cost ways to provide support 2h5m32s.
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• A new book titled "Protocols: An Operating Manual for the Human Body" is now available for pre-sale at protocolsbook.com, covering protocols for various aspects of human health and wellness 2h5m57s.
• The book is based on over 30 years of research and experience, and provides scientific substantiation for the included protocols 2h6m5s.
• Links to various vendors can be found on the book's website, allowing readers to choose their preferred vendor 2h6m25s.
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• The Neural Network Newsletter is a zero-cost monthly newsletter that includes podcast summaries and brief PDFs covering various protocols, and can be subscribed to at hubermanlab.com 2h7m0s.
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